Welcome to Night Vale Funny Qoutes

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Quotes tagged as "welcome-to-night-vale" Showing 1-30 of 44

"The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present."
― Cecil Baldwin

"Sleep heavily and know that I am here with you now. The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present. This now, this us? We can cope with that. We can do this together. You and I, drowsily, but comfortably."
― Welcome to Night Vale

"Sometimes you go through things that seem huge at the time, like a mysterious glowing cloud devouring your entire community. While they're happening, they feel like the only thing that matters and you can hardly imagine that there's a world out there that might have anything else going on. And then the glow cloud moves on. And you move on. And the event is behind you. And you may find, as time passes, that you remember it less and less. Or absolutely not at all, in my case."
― Welcome to Night Vale

"The present tense of regret is indecision."
― Welcome to Night Vale

"Perfection is not real. Perfection is not human. Carlos is not perfect- no, even better- he is imperfect. Everything about him, and us, and all of this is imperfect. And those imperfections in our reality are the seams and cracks into which our outsized love can seep and pool."
― Welcome to Night Vale

"And night falls on you too. You have survived, survived everything up to this moment. Grip tight, hum, laugh, cry. Forget nothing and think many things of it.
Goodnight. Goodnight. Goodnight."
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

"If you say guns kill people one more time, I will shoot you with a gun, and you will, coincidentally, die."
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

"On Sunday, a lambent crevice opened up in the street outside my house,
By Tuesday birds were flying into it.
"I probably won't miss you," my mother said,
"I'm only interested in the end of the world," I replied.

Many find it difficult to breath
without the atmosphere
but we knew how. We just stopped breathing.

We're at the Moonlite All-Nite Dinner and they're serving up fruit from the plants growing out of the waitress.
The CLOSED sign whispers, "Please, don't touch me."
We watch bodies fall to the ground outside like deep-sea creatures surfacing.

You turn to me and ask, "Do you ever think about suicide?"
I look away from you and close my eyes,
eat the raspberries to confuse the blood in my mouth.

Now you're in the only car in the parking lot at midnight and you're watching me throw stones at the moon,
which hangs low in the sky so he can look into your house.
Your sister tried to touch him from her bedroom window once, and he flinched; now he and the oceans watch her with a quiet concern.
The lilac sky is trying to rest her head on his shoulder, all trees gradually growing through her.

A hummingbird whispers to you, "Be careful, under her dress is her skin," and then builds his nest in the middle of the highway,
I look back at you, and you close your eyes."
― Katherine Ciel

"You may not live through it. And if you do, the you that lived through it will not be the same you that lived before it. In that sense, you will definitely not exist after, and I'm sorry."
― Joseph Fink, Jeffrey Cranor

"Settling in to be another clear night and pretty evening here in Night Vale. I hope all of you out there have someone to sleep through it with. Or, at least, good memories of when you did."
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

"Each day the sun rises and sets. The moon pulls the tides. Our hearts beat. Our loved ones love us back. And we share our inhales and exhales with the great organism that is our tiny planet."
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

"When we talk about freedom, we restrict ourselves to so few images. Images of freedom should be as liberating as the feeling itself!
I want to talk about freedom as a drum set being thrown down a hill, as opening a book one night, and water gushing from the pages until my life is a lake and I swim away."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"We have survived all the way from birth to this very moment, and we look at each other, and some of us start laughing, and others start weeping, and one or two of us break out into a wordless humming song. And all of us mean the exact same thing.

Look at us! Look at us out in the honey light of the finished day! Look at us and rejoice in our sheer being!"
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

"Your music, your lyrics, the leaden prose of your life that proves that everything you are and are not, the structures you build to make futility seem like meaning, the dead and living – who will soon be dead, who will soon be gone, who will soon be smoke – rising in columns and forming clouds in the night sky. For now and ever, by the will of dead and dying gods."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"But, as you watch the sun rise again tomorrow morning, think to yourself: past performance is not a predictor of future results. And then force a smile, drink another cup of coffee, and try not to look down as you walk across the soil that will eventually fill your lifeless lungs and repurpose your corpse."
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

"You will turn yourself inside out. Your sadness will know no bounds. Ladybugs will flee you, wolves run wild in you. You will hear the wind chimes like shattering. The sun will drip ichor. Whatever peace you find will be taken from you. Nothing will be the same. Nothing has ever been the same. "Past performance does not guarantee future results," you will whisper to the rising moon, as you hear several foxes fleeing your vicinity."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"The cardinal directions are north, west, south, and east.

The cardinal temperatures are 35º Fahrenheit, 67º Fahrenheit, 3º Celsius, and 10º Kelvin.

The cardinal locations are a cave, a long-abandoned cabin, the bottom of an oceanic trench, and City Hall.

The cardinal emotions are wild abandon, guarded affection, directionless jealousy, and irritation.

The cardinal birds are hawk, sparrow, finch, and owl.

The cardinal names are Jeremy, Kim, Trigger, and Jamie.

And, finally, the cardinal sounds are a door slamming, slight movement in still water, popcorn popping, and a standard guitar G string being snipped with wire cutters.

This has been the Children's Fun Fact Science Corner."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"The ocean is full of things that would like to kill you. And other things that would ignore or not understand you, and then eventually kill you. Because they do not have the same understanding or valuation of life and death as humans. There are still other things that you would probably kill, simply because you think they are beautiful, and you want to possess beautiful things because you believe that beauty and sentience are mutually exclusive."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"We are all driving toward something. We are all driving away from something else. It is…the simplicity of physics. The simplicity of free will."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"The universe is unraveling. It still is. We won the day. We won the battle. We won whatever unit of measurement you care to say that we won. We returned to the dangerous equilibrium we had before, which we can only assume, or hope, or wish is better. But, of course, we did not stop the unraveling of the universe. The universe is not a thing that is, it is not a thing at all. It is the very action of its going. It is, in fact, its own dissolves and our lives – the entire span of human existence going back and back and, if we are lucky, forward and forward – the entire span is spent within this dissolve."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"If you could only see what you're not seeing! If you could only take in all the complex layers of horrors that lie just beyond your range of sight. If you could only see the world as it really is. It is awful, and on fire…and beautiful."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"When you die, the surface of the moon will not change.

The difference between the landscape and lighting of that barren little world from a moment where you exist, to a moment where you do not, will be minimal, and unrelated to your passing. From a car window driving on a highway, looking up at a moon framed by incidental clouds, the surface will be the same muddle of mystery and distance it always is.

And even a methodical study of your absence as it pertains to moon geology and cartography will find nothing. Searching through a powerful telescope, and analyzing with computer algorithms built around your nonexistence – even that study will find that all craters and rocks appear to be where we left them a few years back, that it is the same distance, orbiting at the same rate, and that the researches feel just the way they did about the moon as they did before you died.

Nothing will change about the moon when you die. It will be the same – still the moon, still there.

Still the moon."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"So look at the fleeting stars with fleeting eyes, and feel how the earth beneath you gives. It is all a temporary manifestation of particles, and it is all unraveling back to particulate silence. The bustle of the human day will come and will go. And then there will be night."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"But how beautiful these moments within the dissolve! What a temporary perfection we can find within this passing world! Everything good ever done! Everything good that was done today, and all the good people doing it, and back and back and forward and forward, all of that beauty within a universe unraveling."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

"The Night Vale Green Market Co-Op announced today that, after fifteen years, they will begin selling fruits and vegetables. Green Market Board President Tristan Cortez said that recent customer surveys indicated that shoppers have grown tired of empty pickup trucks and vacant tents lining the City Hall parking lot every Sunday morning in the summer and fall.

Cortez said that research indicates that consumers are more likely to buy products if they are available and for sale, and that Green Market and Grocery shoppers tend to purchase food items."
― Joseph Fink, Mostly Void, Partially Stars

"There are roads. Upon those roads are cars. Some moving, in straight or gently-curved lines. Some idling, in long, narrow crowds. And inside those cars are people. People who are moving, or idling, with their cars. One with their vehicles, sitting quietly, peacefully in plush chairs, hands resting outward on a circle that dictates direction. From the side, and seen without the car, they would look almost fetal. So vulnerable, these people, nestled in their protective outer shells."
― Joseph Fink, The Great Glowing Coils of the Universe

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